Even In Hard Times, I Found Some Humor For You!
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS –
· CEO — Chief Embezzlement Office
· CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer
· BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
· BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
· VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower
· P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
· BROKER — What my broker has made me
· STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell
· STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock
· STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves
· FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected
· MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks
· CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
· YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
· WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share
· INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
· PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use


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